How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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