Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Randomize
