I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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