yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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