she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
