you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
