D3 body, D1 cock
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
