I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
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