i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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