My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
