I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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