last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Holy shit dude........stairs
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
