sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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