Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
