you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
kristin has been a bad kristin
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
