is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
