FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
