I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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