Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
