the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
