I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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