ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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