why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
