tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
