life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
