TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Randomize
