I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
