Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
