Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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