Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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