so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
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It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
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I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize