you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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