I am in a vortex of obligation.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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