we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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