It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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