no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize