Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
