i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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