Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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