Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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