Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize