That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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