i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
