Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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