god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
