Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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