i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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