better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
