Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
