He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
