writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
