It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I am naked and annoyed.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
