I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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