Will you blow on my dice?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
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