i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
