oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
do nipples grow back?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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