i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
