There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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