My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
