guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
