I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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