her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I just googled if crying burns calories
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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