Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
