At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
