Someone shit on the floor
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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